A Letter to a Pet Sitter

A few months back my family and went on vacation. We needed someone to feed our cats while we were gone, so we asked my cousins to do it. My cousins, ages fifteen and seven, agreed, so my mom asked me to write a letter explaining what we wanted them to do. Of course, me being the word freak that I am made the letter as Jane Austeny as possible. So, for the amusement of you, my dear reader, I have placed the letter below. Oh, and one last side note. The older of the two, Evan, who would be the one reading the letter, hates reading. Like, really hates reading.

Dear Evan and Leo,

Thank you for taking care of our cats and mail, below I have left you instructions for each day.

Evan here are your instructions for taking care of the cats:

Day One (Saturday):

Get a can of wet cat food from the cabinet directly behind the cat’s food and water bowls. Open the can and use one of the spoons in the silverware drawer (the left drawer below the toaster oven) to spoon a third of it onto one of the smaller plates (they can be found in the left cabinet above the toaster oven.) Now, use the spoon to divide the third into rough halfs, this is to ensure Solomon has a chance at the wet food if he wants it. He may not be interested, if he does not come for it, please do not be concerned. Once you have placed the plate of food on the floor in front of their food bowls take the purple lid on the counter and secure it to the top of the cat food can. Now, place the can in the refrigerator so you can use it on Sunday and Monday. Then rinse the spoon and place it in the dishwasher. If the dry food bowl isn’t full, and I mean FULL, please fill it up using whatever bag of dry food is open in the same cabinet you found the wet food. The only reason I request it to be so full, is because of Solomon’s over the top paranoia. Once these tasks have been completed, please take the water bowl on the tray beside the food bowl over to the sink, dump out the water, rub your fingers around in it while the water is running to clear out any build up, and refill it with cool tap water. Please place the bowl back on the tray. Now go to the cat closet, pick up the water bowl off the floor and repeat the process that you performed on the kitchen water bowl. Warning: this bowl will be significantly more slimy than the other, I’m not sure why just be aware so you aren’t too grossed out. Please place the bowl back in the closet, making sure to place it against the closet wall. This is a feeble attempt to keep the cats from knocking the bowl over when they play with it and use it as a wash basin. Once all these actions have been completed, your first day’s work is complete.

Day Two (Sunday):

Repeat all of the previous days procedures, except getting a can of cat food out of the cabinet, use the one in the refrigerator. Also, make sure to take Day One’s plate off of the floor, rinse it, and place it in the dishwasher.

Day Three (Monday):

This day’s only difference from Day Two is that you will finish the can of cat food and instead of putting the purple lid back on you will place the lid in the dishwasher, rinse the can, and throw it away.

Leo here are your instructions for getting the mail:

Day One (Saturday):

Go outside, get the mail, bring it inside, and place it on the kitchen table.

Day Two (Sunday):

Repeat Day One’s instructions.

Day Three (Monday):

Repeat the former day’s activities.

Note: Please remember to re-lock all doors before you leave. Also if you need to contact us call or text John’s cell.